What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

Ive learnt so much.

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

What are your political and economic beliefs? How did you form them, especially in comparison to those who hold opposing views?

Comes on , in middle age.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

What's the hardest part about marriage that no one ever talks about?

I couldn’t, believe it.

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

I could never make a relationship work though!

I said to her

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

Why does my iPhone keep on saying I can’t upload photos to iCloud and say it doesn't have enough iCloud storage when it still has space?

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

He resisted the act ,that day.

Do older women know what they want?

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

Do "flat-earthers" attempt to sail around the world to prove their theory? Would this support their belief in a flat Earth?

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

Is it true that schizophrenia can sometimes be a demonic attack or black magic?

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

Why do I sweat so much at the gym?

She wouldn,t have been !

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

If women see themselves as free, dignified, human beings just as good as men, can Trump hang it up and just lose in a landslide at last? How can men who like and respect women help improve womens' self-esteem?

And who doesn’t know suffering?

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

Where the ultimate outsiders.

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

My life is so biszare .

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

She loved him until the end.

So, i spoilt her more .

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

But it wasn’t much.

I was scared of men, in general

I waited trembling.

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

As i do to all so called friends.?

He was dying to do it , i knew.

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

I write beautiful poetry .

She married twice! .

I will be 64.

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

Why did i forgive my father ?

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

One cannot live in the past .

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

Would this be the day?

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

I was seconnd youngest,

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

I was very sick at this time too.

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

(And it was in our own minds.)

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

She found it foreign!.

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

But ive been too sick for many years..

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

When she asked me how she looked .

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

They are buried together, in the same grave..

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

This is soul school!.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

What did i know ?

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

Put me off passion for life!!

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

He knew the spot.

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

And i lived it daily.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

Im still living with it.

I have no regrets .

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

My family never makes their pension either.

She was in good health!

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

Who then, do I blame.?

We were not on the streets..

I don,t even have a pension.

I never cut or harmed myself..

Was to survive, this bastard.

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

All the time i was locked up.

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

I think the readers, may guess!

But, we were locked up after school.

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

I did it because my mum asked me too!

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

I had hoped to write a book about this .

This is how, and why children get BPD.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

Especially a lifetime of it.

It was going to be , some day.

We all went to grammer schools

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

On the 31st of Jan this month .

I was 9 years of age.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

So whats the point in blame.

My mum and dad in the seventies!